The Dethroning of the Queen

One day, my recently single co-worker asked me, "Would you ever date a guy that you weren't really attracted to, but had every other quality you were looking for?" Without hesitation I replied, "No. If there isn't an initial physical attraction, I really don't give him a second thought."

I tried to justify my answer from every angle, so I'm picky or better yet just have high standards. But no matter what justification I came up with, I couldn't stop thinking about her question and my answer. Am I narrow minded? Shallow? In search of a defensible answer that I could live with, I decided to turn to some of my fellow girlfriends whose honest, sometimes brutal, opinion I can always count on...

"Definitely! I do it all the time. The attraction may come when you get to know the person, but if not, at least you tried."

I've dated people that I didn't think were very attractive at first, but I became attracted to them beause of their personality."

"The attraction develops. Just because you're comfortable with something doesn't mean it's right for you, but you won't know that until you venture outside of your comfort zone and try something new."

"There are certain personality traits that I find as attractive as looks so if the personality creates attraction that isn't there physically, I'd date him."

Damn. I thought at least one of them would have agreed with me! I should also add that they did mention there does need to be some level of physical attraction, but apparently, you shouldn't automatically dismiss a guy just because he's not your "ideal" type. I do agree with them as there are plenty of guys that I enjoy the company of, but honestly the "Queen" below needs a little jolt of lighting too.

With that, I think I might have hit on one of my biggest dating flaws: the constant need of approval from the "Queen." Maybe, if I slow down and don't look for the immediate approval of the "Queen" but rather wait for the rest of the decision makers to weigh in, I'd start to have better dating success. A shift in power is quietly brewing within. A coup de etat of the "Queen" is coming...I think I have found my revolution. I'll let you know who comes out victorious...

Every Generation Needs A Revolution

Washington, D.C. - our nation’s capital! For those unfamiliar with life in the so-called “News Capital of the World,” here is a short glimpse. The majority of the fans for baseball game at National’s Park are always the opposing team’s fans, and come to think of it, I’m not sure I even know anyone that is a Nat’s fan or would admit to being one. Tourists flock to our city, and during rush hour they always try to use one metro fare card for their family of eight. Attention tourists: One card per person! In D.C. politics take center stage. Example: one of the most highly anticipated events of the summer for lobbyists and politicians, the leaders of our great nation, is “skintern” season on the Hill. No need for me to elaborate further on this one. The exquisitely overpriced hotels in downtown D.C. aren’t for the aforementioned naive tourists, but are the setting in which political scandals unfold. Careful if you’re driving in D.C.; one wrong turn and 2 hours later you’ll end up where you started. Either that, or you’ll end up in a traffic circle that leads to a one way street with a dead-end. And if you have to stop at a red light, be forewarned that there’s a good chance that the man tapping on your window asking if you want some crack is the former mayor of D.C., who won re-election every time he ran.

But of course this was before (well, some of it anyways) the inauguration of our first African-American president, Barack Obama. Since the arrival of the Obama’s, Washington D.C. has emerged from the dark ages, aka the presidency of George H. W. Bush, and has entered a period of rebirth. According to People.com, the Obama’s “Made Washington Hot.” Now Brangelina wants a mansion here, Bravo’s looking for “Real Housewives” and MTV’s Real World cast is already partying here. According to mainstream media, Washington, D.C. is the place to be.

Not yet convinced? Let me take a more scientific approach. In 2009, Forbes.com rated Washington D.C. one of the top 5 best cities for both “Young Professionals,” and “Singles.”. CNN.com’s Money Magazine also jumped on the bandwagon and rated Arlington, an urban suburb (if there is such a thing), which is 10 minutes from D.C. depending on your GPS, the second best place in the U.S. for the rich and single! The article goes on to describe these rich singles in the area as the “scientific geniuses and government types…who can make you laugh.” Hmm..scientific geniuses and laughter? In my experiences of both living and going out in Arlington, I find the two to be mutually exclusive. I suppose beggars can’t be choosers but c’mon - it would be nice for a guy to pay for something other than a $1.50 beer at happy hour!

Statistically, the numbers are on my side. I’m in the city where everything is happening and anything is possible, especially if you are young and single. Change is in the air, and as long as they aren’t related to the economy, opportunities are endless. Thomas Jefferson once said, “Every generation needs a revolution.” Well, where is my revolution? Maybe it’s time to stop sitting around waiting for one and make one of my own.

Hot Child in DCity

We’ve all seen Sex and the City and the horrible spin off’s that ensued (I’m talking about you Lipstick Jungle), and as much as I heart Sex and the City, and can in one way or another relate every episode to a moment in my own life, what about the 10-15 years that led up to the amazing jobs, fashions shows, book deals and rent controlled apartments in one of the most expensive cities in the United States?

Before they hit their 30s, the characters had to live through their 20s and undoubtedly had to suffer through 10-12 hour workdays for a paycheck that goes entirely towards rent. They had to deal with a boss that uses antiquated phrases such as “spare with me for moment.” They had to perfect the fake smiles you put on when you run into your ex from college who introduces you to his fiancé, who also is was one of your friends from college. Remember when you and your friends were so anxious to get out in the real world, get jobs and apartments together? Three years later you realize - you are in the exact same place as when you left college; single, poor and at the same job.

This blog chronicles the adventures of a single, questionably successful (varies depending on the day….and how many drinks were consumed at happy hour), attractive (I poled people on that one) twenty-something young professional living in the nation’s capital as she discovers the nuances of life, work and dating in the post-grad world is nothing and yet, everything she thought it would be as a “Hot Child in DCity.”